


I Think About You

by LateStarter58



Series: Love and Resistance: The Tom and Jess Story [3]
Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 23:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16922790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LateStarter58/pseuds/LateStarter58
Summary: A drabble, about how someone alone feels in the lead-up to Christmas





	I Think About You

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Long and Winding Road](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16922265) by [LateStarter58](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LateStarter58/pseuds/LateStarter58). 



> This fits into the story of Tom and Jess somewhere before the Epilogue of The Long and Winding Road

I walk the dogs

And I think about you. About how much they loved you, and how they look past me when I come home, hoping to see you there too.

I sit on your reading chair

And I think about you. I lift the throw cushion and try to get a whiff of you, perhaps, still remaining in the plush. But there is none now. Not after so long.

I cook my dinner

And I think about you. About how you would lean on the worktop and talk to me while I cooked, helping and hindering and kissing and laughing. How much you loved to eat my food. It all tastes like nothing now.

I wash the dishes

And I think about you. About how you chased me around the house with a wet dishcloth that time, until we fell in a giggling heap on the sofa.

I go to the station

And I think about you. About how on that first visit, you lifted me off my feet on the platform and swept all my worries away. How you changed my life. How I threw that all away.

I open my Christmas cards

And I think about you. About the only time we were together at this time of year. It was rushed and you were ill and exhausted but it was the best I had known since my kids were small. Now I plan for the visit of the women they have become and my heart sinks at the thought of fake jollity. All the lights and tinsel do is illuminate my misery.

I have no appetite, no taste, no sense of smell; no comfort, no joy, no purpose,

no wish to live.

But I think about you all the time. About how I had you and I gave you away. How I let the love of my life slip through my fingers. How I hurt you, betrayed the love you gave me. About how you looked at me that last morning.

I’m not sure I can go on like this. I am fading away, sinking under the weight of my empty heart, my empty, pointless life.

But for now, I will go to bed and think about you. About how you would hold me and tell me you only ever wanted me.

And I wonder if, now, you ever think about me.


End file.
